Live, breath, dance, yell, scream, let it out, and find support and help now.
Due to this I was going to casino. I have lost my past two jobs due to gambling. The 2nd job I lost because I used to call sick a lot as I was upset losing lots of money in the night, and felt like shit in the morning. Casino is only 10 mins away from me. So it was hard for me to stop myself. I am sharing a house with my parents and brothers. They are very nice with me. They never bother me even if I miss a monthly rent payment.
But I used to treat them really bad, now I am gradually coming to my senses. I am currently working on building my business. I have some success on it, but I am trying to be more successful. I am gradually working to establish my business, and hope one day I will not have any emotion for gambling.. Comefindmedead October 8, at 5: No one understands us. No one can relate to us. Sometimes death is the only way to change a behavior.
And they do. Bea Aikens October 28, at 1: I posted your comments just as you wrote them, as your expression of frustration and pain is palpable. I am so sorry that you are feeling this way, and, I can tell you from first-hand experience that I do understand and I can relate, as can many others who struggle with gambling addiction. Life can be different and so much better. Recovery is not one-size-fits-all. The steps work for me and for many folks I know with gambling addiction. You can reach out to a therapist or a certified problem gambling counselor.
You are fighting a life-threatening mental health disorder. This does not make you a bad person or a flawed person …it makes you a person with a chronic illness in need of treatment. Including me. With help, You can regain control of your life and live a better life in recovery. Matt December 20, at 3: As I have read all these comments I feel exactly the same. I feel sick to my back teeth of feeling this way. Sucidal thoughts and tears are all thats been on my mind the last 5 days I hate living like this.
You are not alone! I pray that you have returned to meetings — if not, I pray that you DO! I understand too well that despair and pain — both from my own gambling addiction AND the loss of my sister Lanie due to her gambling-related overdose. Please, please…. Help is as close as your phone. The hour Helpline is Life can, and DOES, get better! Fresh Start January 13, at 6: Over the past year it has progressively gotten worse. As each day passes by I lie to myself; constantly telling myself that this time will be different.
It hurts because I have to go home and look at my wife and kids empty handed financially and emotionally. The thought of leaving the emptiness, depression and sadness behind seems appealing and sometimes it seems like the only way. There is someone out there that feels my exact pain. In all fairness to my wife and kids I know I have to fight for my life and for them as well. I came here to see if my suicidal thoughts were normal. Neither should you! Vinny January 16, at 9: Get to them GA rooms and get around.
People that will Support you get in recovery and just take one day at a time Forget about trying to win it all back Just let it go and start enjoying life and family and friends Will forgive you …it may take a little time but for now just focus On your recovery Blessings!!
What a sad a real commentary on the devastation gambling addiction can cause! You are right on…life gets so much better with the support of others who are recovering from a gambling addiction. Lai Teck Shin January 26, at 9: Today is Thursday. Next 2 days will be 1st day of Chinese New Year in my location Malaysia.
I owe many debts and a few of them will come to my house to collect tomorrow. My year end bonus and salary just out 2 days ago and i lost it all totally all in fish arcade gaming machine. I now laid on my bed thinking of tomorrow. I feel like i wanted to end my life now.
I had tried seeking for gambling therapy help but they charge me for it and some need me to be in their hostel for maybe 6 months. I have no more money and i cannot stay in there as i need to work to cover all my debts. I have no more way to go. I made a reason i went to look for friends as a reason. They asked me is your friend really help you or want to take advantages on you. Suddenly i realize my friend is the fish arcade gaming machine i look for everyday and it really take advantages on me.
Now is too late to stop. I stop today but how am i going to face all the creditors tomorrow? I am doomed. Jay February 16, at 1: Today is my 30th birthday. I got paid today as well. I lost my full paycheck at the casino. My problem is severe. I need to help myself but never do.
Bea Aikens February 16, at 4: Life can and does get better! Those things that seem insurmountable now really do get better. Please, please reach out for help! Look for your local Gamblers Anonymous hotline, or call the National Helpline at And Jay, if your feeling suicidal, please call Someone is there to HELP.
We really do care and life can get better. God Bless You Jay, Bea. Maninder June 26, at 3: I have lost atleast K in GBP. John February 23, at 1: My son committed suicide because of his gambling addiction and I am campaigning for more regulation of the gambling industry.
Dear everyone. As a compulsive gambler at rock bottom here in Southampton,England I am writing my story for myself and all out there who may seek some hope, advice and a wait out of this killer disease. It all started on fruit machines for many years and increasing gambling on horse racing. Within ten years two relationships ruined and promising myself to stop gambling every Monday,only to be back in front of a machine or at the bookmakers counter by Wednesday.
Often borrowing,scamming money to gamble. This still was not enough. In I played roulette for the first time on a fixed odds terminal at a bookies……and won of course. My gambling has free called since with constant weekly losses, relationships lost, massive debts and 5 months in prison in Upon release I found Gamblers anonymous — a most amazing place and group of people,friends and saviors.
All the tools to abstain from gambling are in that fellowship and regular weekly attendance if possible can really help anyone,no matter how severely addicted stay away from that next bet. I have unfortunately, due to a combination of less attendance,alcohol, available income and arrogance, slipped up and gambled……. Quite terrible, upsetting, anger,frustration and the horrible feeling of my wife finding out. Our partners suffer as much,if not more than us and there is support for partners,friends and family members of gamblers at gam anon here in the uk.
I am now back to square one mentally and financially with only time, hope and determination plus massive support from my wife and GA family. I know I can stay off gambling again, but must not only not gamble but attend GA whenever I need a meeting as well as my regular meetings. So to all gamblers and family, partners, friends of gamblers… reach out. Do not fear telling somebody,and get yourself to Gamblers anonymous as this wretched disease is a killer.
BCD Southampton. Laurie Lanko May 29, at 6: My life has been one of…. Oh hell no matter what I think about my life it could always be worse. I need to quit feeling sorry for myself get over it and move on. I just want someone to hold me and tell me it will be ok.
Ive been married for 37 years and yet i feel alone. Will the loneliness ever end? I think I should just end this madness now. Rose Weaver June 4, at It feels like I have let everyone down and all my hard earned savings are gone with bills still needing to be paid. I hope I survive this. Lg June 10, at I have lost everything. I have so many problems of which gambling is only one. I have so many worries and I gamble to try to make things better but I only make them worse.
I see no hope and believe me I have prayed without end. There is no hope and God will not help me anymore. This cannot be fixed so where do I go from here. My kids still need me but I am so lost I cannot give them support. I cannot stop and I cannot go on. Help me I give up. Have a husband who never stops reminding me of the first time I gambled and lost. He will not even think twice about abandoning me now.
Where do I go for help. There are no answers and no one to help. What do I do. I hate leaving them but that is the last I can do for them. Vanha July 23, at 6: Hopefully the bet I put in yesterday was my last bet involving money! Gambling ruined me emotionally and financially, more than me it had huge negative effect on my relationship with my wife. I quit gambling twice before, during the years I did not gamble , my life was beautiful. Gambling was in my family, my father gambled most of the time in his prime years.
I always liked the rush. My addiction to casino games started in , at that time my game of choice was blackjack. For the first two years, myself and my wife used go to the casino on Friday nights. This kept on going for a while, huge ups and downs. I wish there were never any ups. The confidence that it is possible to win made to chase my losses.
I switched to Baccarrat game, Banker bet was my favorite. Huge ups and downs. The worst part was every time I won big for few weeks, it always followed with heavy loosing weeks. I continued to gamble despite knowing you can not beat the house in the long run. I knew I would loose even if there was no such thing as house advantage. I still gambled away all the money for which I had worked very hard.
For the last few weeks I have been getting suicidal thoughts. I lost about k in last 18 months. Credit cards, home equity, personal loans from bank, borrowed money from couple of friends stating business needs. I am suppressing the suisidal thoughts by remembering my kids, wife and my mother. It took long time 20years for me to realize I was not gambling for money, I was gambling to get that high feeling. I hope this time I will be successful in quitting gambling.
I know it is a hard addiction, but I want to choose life over addiction. I want my high school going daughter to finish college, I want my 11 year old son not to end up like me. I want my wife to smile again. It has been few years since she smiled. This is my last opportunity, there is no way I could recoup my losses by more gambling.
But I can be a good dad,son,husband just by not gambling, it is free and very satisfying. Garry August 5, at 1: Bea Aikens August 15, at 4: Dear Garry, Please, please call the Suicide Prevention Hotline or the Gamblers Helpline 1 and get the help you need! I see that you care about your family! I know…because I lost my sister Lanie to the disease of compulsive gambling. Please get help Garry.
God Bless You Bea. Kevin G September 3, at 9: I live to be in action. I had bailout after bailout after bailout in my life. Enabler after enabler after enabler. And suicide is very heavy in my mind. I went to a rehab in Came out and gambled. Went to a rehab again in Started going to GA and had 13 months.
I ran with it for 13 months, beautiful girlfriend, out with friends, vacations — life was great! It was a normal life! I have a good career. I get paid every week. I recently went back to GA on march 7th I relapsed at the horse track on July 23rd. I lost the love of my life, lost all trust and respect back again, been begging my entire contact list for money, late on all my bills, etc etc etc.
Without action and that high my life is meaningless. From borrowing, to scams, to fraudulent things. All I have left is my paycheck every week and next thing will be to rob a fucking bank. I dwell on the past and worry about the future.
I work so hard. Every week. Never miss a day. Because work feeds my addiction. Bea Aikens September 6, at 4: Oh my Kevin…what a cunning, powerful and baffling disease this is! I pray that your bottom is IN recovery my friend. Are you open to trying again? Life is SO much better when the madness stops! Fight the good fight and get back into treatment. If you are ready for help NOW, please pick up the phone and call the Helpline at Tommy W September 8, at 7: Hi Kevin.
I could not have written a better essay Kevin. You summed up our shared madness very well. You understand it. You respect it. Our program is full of cliches. However, prison, insanity and death. But you and I are of the same cloth. You are in the midst of the insanity. Surely, without GA and all it provides, death is not far. The yellow combo book also contains a sentence which speaks to me and my disease with a bullhorn.
Powerful truth right there. For me anyway. Talk about crazy. You, I, we…all of us have a choice. Gamble and be miserable until we commit the ultimate tragedy upon anyone who might possibly love us? Or, get back into recovery and live, and turn this thing into something beneficial to humanity, to those who love you, to yourself. But you do know it works. You do have the knowledge that with program comes recovery and sanity and healing and peace.
You said as much. And then you will be where I am, reaching back to that fella crying out from the muck and mire of this insidious disease. I am proud of you Kevin for the letter I just read. That honesty came from your gut, and is essential for your next step. Take that next step Kevin. One foot at a time. I have confidence in you because I have confidence in GA, and you do too. God bless you, young man. Vicente Sanchez September 9, at 8: Ive gambled more money that I can handle and I am ruining everything.
My credit is maxed out and I am having to take high interest loans to try and make basic ends meet. Mary Fisher April 30, at 7: Aiden13 September 13, at 7: Gambling has deteriorated my life. I am dying a very slow death and I really want to end up because I rather die now then live miserably. I would stop for a bit and then I would relapse again. There is no hope for me because I know in my heart I will gamble everything away again until the day I die. I have lost everything because of it.
I wanna quit so bad but somehow I always relapse. If this is what my life is going be then Lord I pray that You take my life please. The only way I can stop is if I just end it all. Roxie October 1, at Dearest Aiden, I just read every story posted to this site, ending with yours.
My mother ended her life on Sept 27, about 6pm. She was not found until the following morning. When I received the call I dropped everything and flew to Kansas City. I never knew she was addicted to gambling until today when I gained access to her computer and paperwork. She was 79, semi retired and had little income. Yet she was able to borrow money from many sources that she would never be able to pay back and she gambled it all away.
I now now understand the situation she was in. I must tell you that I still love her more than ever and I would do anything to have her here with me. Please put all that energy into fighting for your life. I believe we have to put laws in place to protect compulsive gamblers from destroying themselves. I believe we should regulate the casinos and other gambling establishments and lending institutions to prevent them from sucking the life from us. Can u help me develop legislation that would protect us?
The medical examiner released my mothers remains today so she will be transferred to the funeral home for cremation on Monday. I miss her so much. Please go to your family or loved ones and tell them you need help. In the meantime we need to fight these bastards, ok?! Bea Aikens October 3, at Dear Roxie, My heart aches for you! I have been where you are, and the pain is so great! In the end I found myself cursing the addiction…which I too have.
There is much work to be done there. To feel your feelings and honor your mother. I am so terribly sorry for your loss! It breaks my heart every time I hear of a senseless loss like this. It happens far too often, and the world needs to understand.
Feel your feelings. They will come in waves and you will likely vacillate between anger, deep sorrow, regret and back again. You did nothing wrong. Allow yourself quiet time, and crying time. If you pray, time with God. Perhaps a support group or Gam-Anon. May God Bless you…. You may have just saved a life. Noel Gallagher September 20, at Tatum September 22, at 8: I sit here today wondering why? Why me? Why do I continue to hurt everyone that tries to help me? I remember the day it started, 12 years this has controlled my life.
I had a great job, and stopped at the casino and won. That was the beginning of the end. I have attempted suicide multiple times, and hurt everyone that ever cared. I have been to inpatient treatment twice, been hospitalized multiple times and still continue to self destruct. He has bailed me out and picked up the pieces more times than I can count. He does it because he loves me. But he is tired. He works so hard to make sure we have a good home and life. He tries to make my life easier.
I wish. My husband comes home tomorrow and when he finds out what I have done, I can only guess what will happen. We are not actually married anymore. But he talks about getting married again. For the third time. But I am pretty sure when he gets home, I will be out on my ass. Unfortunately I have no where to go. My family is tired. I have spent the last 12 years trying to fix this.
So now all I can think about is what do I do now? I have nothing left. The only thing that stops me is that I have tried and failed multiple times. In the past, when everything falls apart, I would run. So I will sit here and wait to see the disappointment on his face.
The yelling and screaming. But it is inevitable. I hope some day I can be at peace. I hope some day they can forgive me for the hell I have put them thru. And I hope that some day they will know that I never wanted to hurt them or drag them down with me. It has to stop. All I can do now is pray to GOD to give me strength. Dear Tatum, Your story breaks my heart. Our pets give such unconditional love and comfort: They can be Tatum! I promise! I have interviewed many compulsive gamblers; and I am one myself.
I believe God has a greater plan for all of us. Clearly, he has a plan for you. Just as you would go to the doctor if a medical condition reoccured. Be sure that you are seen by a Certified Problem Gambling Counselor. Please reach out again and let us know how you are. Praying for you Tatum! October 13, at 2: My 25 year old husband has been a gamble addict for about 5 years now…We have tried everything.
Doctors, therapists, 10 weeks spent in hospital, getting angry, showing understanding, etc. I just want to go back to my previous life. I know that I would think of him and would worry about him every day. His family has recently told me they are going to cut him from their lives.. Jeff October 18, at 1: The value of money completely disappeared. Numerous times I tried to stop and just keep Bitcoin as it was constantly increasing value. I would see tremendous gains, but lose them on risky bets.
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There is much debate over whether the social and economic consequences of casino gambling outweigh the initial revenue that may be generated. The term "casino" is a confusing linguistic false friend for translators. Casino is of Italian origin ; the root casa means a house. The term casino may mean a small country villa , summerhouse , or social club. Not all casinos were used for gaming. The Catalina Casino ,  a famous landmark overlooking Avalon Harbor on Santa Catalina Island, California , has never been used for traditional games of chance, which were already outlawed in California by the time it was built.
The Copenhagen Casino was a theatre, known for the mass public meetings often held in its hall during the Revolution , which made Denmark a constitutional monarchy. Until , it was a well-known Danish theatre. Rather, it was a banquet hall for the Russian nobility which frequented this spa resort in the late 19th century and is now used as a restaurant.
In military and non-military usage in German and Spanish, a casino or kasino is an officers' mess. The precise origin of gambling is unknown. It is generally believed that gambling in some form or another has been seen in almost every society in history. From the Ancient Greeks and Romans to Napoleon's France and Elizabethan England , much of history is filled with stories of entertainment based on games of chance.
The first known European gambling house, not called a casino although meeting the modern definition, was the Ridotto , established in Venice , Italy in by the Great Council of Venice to provide controlled gambling during the carnival season. It was closed in as the city government felt it was impoverishing the local gentry. In American history, early gambling establishments were known as saloons.
The creation and importance of saloons was greatly influenced by four major cities: New Orleans , St. Louis , Chicago and San Francisco. It was in the saloons that travelers could find people to talk to, drink with, and often gamble with. During the early 20th century in America, gambling became outlawed and banned by state legislation and social reformers of the time. However, in , gambling was legalized throughout the state of Nevada. America's first legalized casinos were set up in those places.
Most jurisdictions worldwide have a minimum gambling age 16 to 21 years of age in most countries which permit the operation of casinos. Customers gamble by playing games of chance , in some cases with an element of skill, such as craps , roulette , baccarat , blackjack , and video poker.
Most games played have mathematically determined odds that ensure the house has at all times an overall advantage over the players. This can be expressed more precisely by the notion of expected value , which is uniformly negative from the player's perspective.
This advantage is called the house edge. In games such as poker where players play against each other, the house takes a commission called the rake. Casinos sometimes give out complimentary items or comps to gamblers. Casinos in the United States say that a player staking money won from the casino is playing with the house's money.
Video Lottery Machines slot machines have become one of the most popular forms of gambling in casinos. As of [update] investigative reports have started calling into question whether the modern-day slot-machine is addictive. Factors influencing gambling tendencies include sound, odour and lighting.
He suggested that the scent acted as an aphrodisiac, causing a more aggressive form of gambling. Casino designer Roger Thomas is credited with implementing a successful, disruptive design for the Las Vegas Wynn Resorts casinos in He broke casino design convention by introducing natural sunlight and flora to appeal to women.
Thomas put in skylights and antique clocks, defying the commonplace notion that a casino should be a timeless space. SJM Holdings Ltd. While there are casinos in many places, a few places have become well known specifically for gambling. Perhaps the place almost defined by its casino is Monte Carlo, but other places are known as gambling centers. Monte Carlo Casino , located in Monte Carlo city, in Monaco , is a famous casino and a tourist attraction popular with well-off visitors.
This book is based on real people and events; however, many of those events are contested by main character Semyon Dukach. The casino was founded in as a site to gather information from foreign diplomats during the First World War. Today it is owned by the Italian government, and operated by the municipality.
With gambling laws being less strict than in Italy and Switzerland, it is among most popular gambling destination besides Monte Carlo. The income from the casino is sufficient for the operation of Campione without the imposition of taxes, or obtaining of other revenue. The former Portuguese colony of Macau , a special administrative region of China since , is a popular destination for visitors who wish to gamble.
This started in Portuguese times, when Macau was popular with visitors from nearby British Hong Kong , where gambling was more closely regulated. The Venetian Macao is currently the largest casino in the world. The Casino Estoril , located in the municipality of Cascais , on the Portuguese Riviera , near Lisbon , is the largest casino in Europe by capacity.
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